When picturing a survivor of sexual abuse,Christmas Night (2024) Hindi Short Film you might immediately imagine a girl or woman, especially now in the wake of the #MeToo movement.
An emotional new PSA, however, wants to broaden your perceptions about survivors to include boys and men.
SEE ALSO: As adult survivors join #MeToo, children listen — and confront their own abuseThe 5-minute spot was produced by 1in6, a nonprofit organization that helps men who've had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences. It begins with five actresses reading heartbreaking accounts of sexual abuse and assault. When they finish, the director asks how the women would respond to the story if they had the chance.
Like many of us might, each actress assumes the author is a woman.
"I just feel like, I would just, like, hug her," says one of the actresses.
"You were a little girl. It's not your fault, honey," says another.
What they can't see behind the scenes are the men to whom those stories belong. Some of them are crying. Soon enough, the male survivors walk out to meet the women who read their accounts.
The profound moment, in which some of the women look surprised, reveals how men are too often invisible in our conversations about sexual assault, even though the rates of abuse are similar between sexes; historically, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys have been victims of child sexual abuse by age 18.
"When you think about sexual abuse, you always think of it as women. You never think about men being abused," Mark Godoy Jr., one of the survivors, said in an interview with Mashable. "For most men, that’s kind of how we carry our abuse. We’re never the center of attention, and most people don’t care."
"When you think about sexual abuse, you always think of it as women. You never think about men being abused."
Godoy first shared his story a few years ago through The Bristlecone Project, a 1in6 photo series that features the stories of male survivors. He participated in the new PSA with the hope that it would help other survivors know it's OK to be vulnerable and seek help. Godoy, who is black, particularly wants black men to see a survivor who looks like them.
1in6 began developing the concept for the PSA two years ago, and the NFL provided the funding for the spot. Though the league has previously underwritten PSAs for the No More campaign, which aims to end domestic violence and sexual assault, this is the first time it's helping to put the focus on male sexual abuse.
"I think it's really important that they’re involved," said Tracy DeTomasi, executive director of No More, which partnered with 1in6 to promote the PSA. She feels the NFL wields valuable influence that can help men rethink stereotypes about masculinity that might prevent them from talking about sexual abuse.
"When you destroy some of those myths of masculinity and get away from toxic masculinity, you allow men to process the abuse they may have experienced," DeTomasi said.
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Each of the men in the PSA display their own sense of grief, anger, and resilience, while the women listen compassionately. Ashley Lauren Bell, the actress who said she'd hug the story's author, sees Godoy walk from behind a curtain and eventually opens her arms wide to embrace him.
"Because I’m a woman, I just related it to being a little girl," she told Mashable. "It didn’t cross my mind that [the author] could be a male. I was so overcome with emotion reading his story, and then actually seeing him ... my natural instinct was just to hug him."
Bell, who isn't a survivor and doesn't have close friends or family who've said they experienced abuse, hadn't thought too much about sexual assault prior to the PSA. Now when she walks into a room with several men, she thinks about the 1 in 6 statistic and remembers that anyone can be a victim of sexual abuse.
That's exactly the kind of awareness Godoy wants viewers to gain by seeing the PSA.
And as for the hug he shared with Bell, it remains special.
"It was a heart-to-heart moment," he said. "We both cried. It’s something you don’t see very often: people who are complete strangers that have that level of connection over a serious thing."
If you have experienced sexual assault, you can contact the nonprofit organization 1in6, which maintains a helplinefor male survivors. You can also call the free, confidential National Sexual Assault hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), or access 24-7 help online by visitinghotline.rainn.org.
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