【family eroticism】

To celebrate reaching the end of this year,family eroticism we asked our reporters to look back on 2019 and pick one thing they thought stood out from the rest of the cultural chaos and cursed images. You can find the complete selection of our choices here.

This year the acne positivity movement reached new heights. The acne-positive hashtags and makeup-free photos of 2018 are still thriving on social media, but 2019 saw the ethos really go mainstream — and, crucially, inspire acne-positive product marketing. As the conversation continues to progress, though, I wonder: Is feeling good about our acne realistic, or should we be aiming for something more nuanced?

I don't favor the term "acne positivity" (more on that in a minute), but the movement to destigmatize acne is a good thing. A whopping 50 million people in the United States experience acne each year, yet the condition often comes with unfair social and professional consequences. One study in 2011, for instance, found that job interviewers were less likely to retain information from an interview if the candidate had acne. And there's a correlation — in both directions — between acne and anxiety.

We've also attached acne to morality when it's largely an issue of economics. "The basic language of making skin about 'good' or 'bad' ties it to morality, to our souls and the very idea of virtue," Jaya Saxena wrote for Racked in 2018. But acne isn't a moral issue — it's an issue of genetic predisposition, of ability to manage stress, and, most importantly, of the ability to afford trips to the dermatologist. In effect, Saxena explained, we're shaming acne-havers for something that's often beyond their financial control.

The acne positivity movement, then, is in some ways a much-needed balm for acne-induced shame. The hashtag #freethepimple, which activist Louisa Northcote began to encourage others to be open about their acne — and destigmatize the idea the acne indicates uncleanliness — has elicited hundreds of smiling barefaced selfies, the heartfelt captions on which often make me tear up. "I don't let acne or any problem take over my life because once your problems consume you, it will be harder to face them," reads one. "I am not and will not be happy ALL THE TIME, that's not healthy for anyone and it is impossible, but what I will do, is to get something good from it."

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Celebrities and brands have gotten in on the movement, too — a surefire sign that acne positivity is an idea resonant enough to be marketed to the mainstream. Justin Bieber posted a selfie with the caption "pimples are in." Bachelorettestar Hannah Brown discusses her acne fairly openly for a franchise obsessed with aesthetic "perfection." Kendall Jenner's acne was visible on the Golden Globes red carpet in 2018, timed fortuitously with her Proactiv partnership.

And then there's the new wave of aesthetic pimple patches, which make acne — or the performance of treating acne, anyway — downright post-able. Starface, a line of star-shaped, bright yellow hydrocolloid patches, aims to give treating acne a modicum of shareable fun. Same goes for Squish Beauty's patches, which come in the shape of pretty gem-adorned flowers.

"Of course you're entitled to feel exactly how you feel, everyone is human and moods fluctuate and feelings toward yourself fluctuate," Starface founder Julie Schott said in an interview with Fashionista earlier this year. "But the whole idea [behind the product] was to normalize and de-stigmatize this thing that's so common, and should absolutely not be seen as disgusting or like you don't know how to take care of yourself."

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Have these products made it easier for people to talk about their acne? Anecdotally, sure. As someone who's tried to treat my own acne with pretty much every remedy out there, I appreciate people's candid posts about their own struggles. But calling the shift to acne acceptance "skin positivity" makes me feel exhausted.

We didn't have to call it "skin positivity." In fact, that might not be the most accurate moniker, though its rhetorical similarity to "body positivity" is probably why it's been the label of choice in trend piece after trend piece after trend piece since 2018. But that's not reallythe crux of what's happening here, and it shouldn't be.

When I get a bout of cystic acne, it's sore to the touch. It hurts. It makes my face feel inflamed and delicate. Yes, I feel embarrassed about it, and yes, that's because of unfair societal stigma around acne. But it's not my responsibility — or the responsibility of anyone with blemishes — to offer up our medical conditions in the name of positivity. Nor is that really what anyone's doing. As even Schott said, our self-images are deeply individual and subject to intense fluctuation. No one needs to "love their spots." Making peace with them is enough.

I think often of this Man Repeller story about body neutrality, which posits that instead of making adoring our bodies the goal, we should seek to "underthink" it entirely. "If we aim for nothing but total body bliss, when we inevitably fall short of that, it can leave us feeling like failures,” says self-love coach Anastasia Amour. “In shifting our focus from ‘I must love my body!’ to ‘This is my body, and I’m okay with it,’ we can learn to neutralize disordered thinking.”

In 2020, perhaps we should shoot for "acne neutrality," a term that's floated around alongside acne positivity, but has failed to achieve the same clout. We can feel how we feel about our skin without judging ourselves but also try to deprioritize the whole operation. If you want to wear a fun pimple patch shaped like a star, great. (They are adorable.) If you want to cover up your pimples with makeup, go for it. If you want to swear off makeup forever and show up to work dotted with Mario Badescu Drying Lotion, wonderful. If you want to do none of those things, perfect. The point is that you don't have to feel any type of way about your choice.

And if you truly feel neutral, brands won't have anything — positive or negative — to market to. Your skin, blessedly, won't be an intrinsic part of your self-worth. It will just be what it is, which was important all along: an organ.