What's a pride parade without the rainbows,homemade taboo sex videos the public displays of LGBTQ love and community, and a history of resisting oppression spanning decades? A straight parade.
Straight pride is neither real nor necessary. But every year during Pride month, like clockwork, there are always a few huffy clowns that come out of the woodwork to ask, "What about me? Where's my parade?" It's like a kid at someone else'sbirthday party who cries when the birthday child opens gifts, but they don't get one too.
Some people insist on taking it a step further. Recently, three dudes in Boston wanted to prove how oppressed they reallyare as straight people by requesting a permit to host a "Straight Pride Parade."
Immediately, Twitter began to clown the guys. Of course, there were the nuanced takes on identity politics and privilege by public figures such as Chasten Buttigieg, AOC, and Smash Mouth. Even "woke bae" king of Twitter, Chris Evans, weighed in on organizers' "i am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?" moment.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.SEE ALSO: 15 awesome ways to celebrate #HeterosexualPrideDay
And then, of course, there came the memes. What exactly woulda straight pride parade look like? Well first off, it doesn't seem like it would be fun. What's there to celebrate? Khakis? Nicholas Sparks? Being able to walk down the street holding hands with your partner without fear?
Straight people, it's time to wave your monochrome flag with pride. We're here for you.
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We're sorry that the straight flag kinda sucks. But straight people have the best straight holiday of the year reserved just for them — the Kia Summer Sales Event.
UPDATE: June 27, 2019, 3:01 p.m. EDT According to Insider, Boston approved the public event application for the "Straight Pride" parade on Wednesday. However, the city's mayor, Martin J. Walsh, will not attend.
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