As America's corporate embodiment of negligence and Secret Tutoring (2018)greed, Equifax has gone to great lengths to solidify its place as one of the world's most hated companies. But that's all about to change, dear friends and neighbors, because the corporation that lost the personal information of potentially 143 million individuals to hackers are about to be here for you in a big way.
And just how, exactly, will a company that couldn't patch a known vulnerability get back in your good graces? Drumroll please...with an app.
SEE ALSO: Twitter is *not having* Equifax's response to that massive hackThat's right, during a Wednesday hearing held by the Senate Commerce Committee, interim CEO Paulino do Rego Barros Jr. told those gathered that his company is making an app. You know, for security and stuff.
"The product is being developed as we speak — we are on time to deliver this in January," noted Barros. "We just started our development tests now," he added.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
As Silicon Valley has repeatedly shown, whether it be for finding a toilet, scanning your dick pics, or getting strangers to buy you milk, apps are always great ideas providing much needed solutions to heretofore seemingly intractable problems. Equifax, it appears, wants in.
And we're sure the company will hire developers that put a priority on protecting user data. No doubt there. Because, for the app to do anything at all related to your credit, it's definitely going to need some of your personal information. And we know Equifax is to be trusted in this department.
But just what, you ask, will the app do? In the hearing, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, a Minnesota Democrat, noted that this mythical piece of software would "allow consumers to lock and unlock personal credit data," but at present that's really all we know.
We reached out to Equifax with a host of questions but, sadly, received no response as of press time. We imagine the company's representatives were too busy changing all their passwords to "admin" to get back to us. Or, if not that, possibly they stepped away from their inboxes in order to direct worried hack victims to a fake Equifax site.
Either way, everyone at the company is clearly busy. Hopefully, they're putting that collective brain power into the to-be-released mobile product. If their previous app — which also allowed users to "Lock and unlock [their] Equifax credit file" — is any indication, things should turn out fine.
And by "fine," of course, we mean fine for Equifax. Everyone else will, once again, surely end up screwed.
Topics Apps & Software Cybersecurity
Memories of the Lakeside by Lorin SteinPoetic Doubt; Battling Anxiety by Lorin SteinThe Magnetic Fields Tour Diary, Part 3 by Emma StraubFutures, Fiction, Tigers: Happy Monday! by Sadie SteinCorrections and Test Questions: Happy Monday by Sadie SteinSylvia Plath, Robot Librarians, and Lickable Wallpaper by Sadie SteinTwo Poets by Sam StephensonA Singular Southern Gentleman Goes Out “Biting” by Gary LippmanRobert Hayden’s “Summertime and the Living...” by D. A. PowellMusic of the Heart? by Sadie SteinHappy Birthday, Gatsby; GoodLiterary Paint Chips: Gallery 1 by Leanne Shapton and Ben SchottSusanne Kippenberger on ‘Kippenberger’ by Miranda PurvesThe Troubadour of Honed Banality by Barry YourgrauVote for TPR in the Tournament of Lit Mags! by Sadie SteinReading in New York; Reading of London by Lorin Stein‘Bartleby,’ ‘Star Wars,’ and Animal Authors by Sadie SteinThe Regulars by Josh DziezaThe Wizard of West FiftyReading On the Road; Fiction for a Father NYT Connections Sports Edition hints and answers for January 28: Tips to solve Connections #127 Best Valentine's Day gift: The 40 'Presence's Steven Soderbergh and David Koepp on ghosts, horror, and hating winks Wordle today: The answer and hints for January 27, 2025 Best gaming deal: Save $200 on the Asus Rog Ally Artificial rose deal: $4.99 at Amazon NASA's about to fly its powerful X Meet the Taylor Swift fans leaving X/Twitter for Bluesky Private moon spacecraft just took a breathtaking snapshot of Earth Wordle today: The answer and hints for January 28, 2025 Denver Nuggets vs. Chicago Bulls 2025 livestream: Watch NBA online Shop the best Roku deals and save up to 40% HP Touchscreen Laptop deal: Get $240 off at Best Buy X 'barely breaking even,' Elon Musk reportedly emailed staff 19 best 'Hot Ones' episodes to binge Best Apple Watch deal: Save $70 on Apple Watch Series 10 DeepSeek says its newest AI model, Janus George Michael and werewolves: How 'Babygirl' crafts a soundscape of desire NYT Connections hints and answers for January 28: Tips to solve 'Connections' #597. Shop the best deals on Beats this week
3.1163s , 10138.1875 kb
Copyright © 2025 Powered by 【Secret Tutoring (2018)】,Feast Information Network